A story by Journey Hart.
“This is all your fault!”
“How is this my fault? If anything, it’s yours.”
“Just shut your mouth-“
“Make me.”
“SHUT IT!”
I clutch my head in hands and pace. It’s the only thing I can do. I’m shaking. Why am I shaking? I should be ready to handle this; I should be in control of the situation. I’m the leader. There should be no hesitation. Why am I shaking?
Annabeth stares at me. There’s nothing on her face. She doesn’t even look angry. I yelled at her. Why did I yell at her? She has her arms crossed and her gaze is constant. Why did I take it out on her? The zombies were not her fault. Charging out of the basement unannounced was, but not the zombies. I shake my head. I… I need a rest. How long has it been since I slept?
“I’m sorry, Annabeth.” I say her name to create the sense of familiarity my mom taught me, but it doesn’t seem to be working. She still says nothing, staring at me as if expecting something more. There’s nothing more to give her. Everything is lost. The others are trapped in the basement I left them in, the basement Annabeth should be in right now, safe and away from the zombies. She did this to herself, did this to us. If she stayed, I could be with the others right now, protecting everyone. She deprived me of that ability the moment she stepped out the door.
No., I think. It’s alright. She probably had a reason. I try to smile, try to find something positive about the situation. I can’t. Maybe that was pushing it a little far.
I look around the empty classroom we are hiding in, determined to find an alternative way out besides using the door. The windows are broken, but we are four stories above the ground. Even if we somehow managed to balance on the window ledge, there would be nowhere else to go. I try not to look at Annabeth standing alone in the corner as I search the room for anything useful.
A bang sounds on the door to the classroom. I jolt myself around and snap my eyes to the door. More thumps and crashes sound throughout the room from the entryway. It’s loud and random, nothing like the knocks that would come from a human. I step a little in front of Annabeth involuntarily, my eyes locked on the handle. Thoughts and worries flash through my already overdriven mind. Did we remember to lock it?
Just as quickly as it started, it’s gone. I don’t relax when they fade, and I don’t take my eyes from the door. Instead, I step up to the handle and make sure it was locked. It wasn’t.
“This isn’t my fault, Red.” A quivering voice wobbles to my ears. I freeze, my hand on the lock. No, please. not right now. “I didn’t mean to.”
“No, I know you didn’t.” I force myself to face her, readying for a blast of rage from the younger girl, and find myself standing before a different Annabeth. I’d never seen her cry before, but here she stands, tears shimmering on her cheeks, her eyes red in the dim light. I watch her for a moment, unsure of what to do. She stands completely still, her expression even as the tears fall.
“Do you?” she chokes out, the small amount of light from the windows behind her raining shadows on her front. “I thought you said it was my fault.”
I stare at her, my eyes wide. I can’t afford this right now. After everything we’ve been through, she decides to start crying now?
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. I was just angry. You know how I get.” I try to reason with her, get her to calm down so we can get back to the others with clear heads, but she doesn’t move, doesn’t speak. She stares. And I wait.
After a long silence, I step forward once.
“Annabeth…”
“Don’t Annabeth me. You’re always blaming me for everything that goes wrong. Why didn’t you just stay with the others and leave me alone-!”
“I can’t!” I shout to drown out those perilous words. I’m vaguely aware of the presence of zombies in the school, but I’m too determined to care. “I can’t just leave you out here, Annabeth. I would hate myself for the rest of my life if I didn’t try to help you. You’re part of our group. I don’t care if you put yourself in danger for the rest of our lives, I’m going to try to prevent you from doing it every single time. I’m going to try to protect you from yourself if I have to, but I will never leave you.” I pause and watch her, to look into her eyes, but she’s not watching me anymore. She has her eyes to the side, tears sliding down to replace the old ones that fall to the floor. “Why did you do this? Why did you leave? I need you with me, to help me with the younger ones. I need you to stay with me so I can look after them and not be chasing you all over the place.”
Her face distorts for a second at my last words, and she shifts her eyes to lock onto mine. They’re glassy and sharp, a coursing flame that writhes with ambition, seeking refuge and peace in a mess of chaos that surrounds. They aren’t stupid or impulsive, but praiseworthily brave. I take a step forward and speak gently to her fragile and fierce eyes, “I want you safe. Running into danger prevents me from keeping it that way.”
“I know. I just… I couldn’t stay in that basement. My family…”
At her words a streak of pain clutches my heart, and I know I had been wrong. This is not Annabeth’s fault. This is mine.
“They were attacked while hiding in a basement. I was in it too. I was the only one… The only one who got out...alive.”
She’s falling, her lashes collecting tears as she lands on her knees, her hands trembling, eyes cast downward. I rush to her and grab her arm, shaking it slightly and imploring her to stand.
“We’re gonna make it out, alright?” I take her arms and drag her to her feet, knowing that any weakness could be our downfall. “Do you hear me? We’re going to make it out of this, get back to our group and find a safer place,” I bark, commanding the effort out of her. She nods and looks at me from under fallen eyelids.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers.
“Don’t be. We’re not dead yet."